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  • Writer's pictureAngelina Issac

The star that lead me home

Walking back home from church, it was a subtly cold, winter Sunday evening. I carried a colorful Christmas star in my arms, that my grandfather bought for me, that had fascinated my eyes from a stall outside the church premises. I presumably don’t know why, but I felt a great lot of happiness within me, as I embraced and held the star close to me.

It gave me the childhood vibes of Christmas I had often been fond of when I was in Navi Mumbai. For a while I rewinded myself to the cold winter evenings, starlit, peaceful and empty roads, walking myself amidst the beauty of the nature, looking at the leaves of golden shower (Cassia fistula) tree intertwined above my head, giving out the vibes of unexplainable happiness, more sophisticatedly, a euphoria.

I remembered how my mind used to be empty, with no disturbing thoughts, no wishes, no cravings, no over emotions, after all. I was, who I was. I didn’t have to mask a smile and walk around. Nothing ever seemed to affect my mind as long as I was embraced by such a beautiful place to walk by every evening. I knew that I could walk by these roads with a million thoughts, and they’ll all seem to evaporate away into these leaves above me, giving me nothing but peace in return. Oh, how I wished a winter like that again. I came back to reality that I was walking through a different place. Where no one knew me. The roads were busy, the skies were cloudy, and there were no golden shower trees to cover my head above. My thoughts seemed to eat me up, but this Christmas star that I held tightly to my chest, seemed to take me to a realm that I beloved.

I thought again of the old days of Christmas. When the houses there, though very few, were decorated and that included mine. I looked forward to setting up the Christmas tree, no matter how much I pestered my mom to get it done. 😆. The songs that were set up on the music system, ‘Mary’s boy child’ racing my heart beat to a different realm altogether. Nights were pleasant, with a night sky filled with stars. The memories of preparing barbeque on the small terrace we had, the tiny glass of Sprite I drank, with mom and dad, were all the things that held a beautiful place in my heart that I’d never forget. Christmas always had brought this beautiful unexplainable feeling within me. These vibes that I long to share and feel again.

As I held back the star from my arms, I had almost reached home. My eyes teared up as I wished to relive those days. I saw an Edison bulb switched on there near the entry of the building and reached out my hand to tie the star, but I couldn’t. I realized that this star was to be tied to my heart instead. It would give me an endless sky of unexplainable happiness, peace and everything that I’ve ever had and ever wanted. I needed everyday of my life to be like a Christmas at home, a Christmas at Navi Mumbai 😊💓

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